Wow, what a race! This year’s Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil had everything from great, side-by-side racing to competitive and personal drama that probably made for a wildly captivating ESPN2 telecast. At the suggestion of Kevin McKenna, I will recap NHRA Full Throttle Drag Racing's version of The Masters with quotes from an all-time classic movie: Caddyshack.
 

I probably could have made this post much, much longer if I gave myself the time, because there are no shortage of memorable quotes. The classic golf comedy that did wonders for the careers of Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and Chevy Chase is a must-see for those who haven’t already. It’s also part of the following, quintessential golf joke:

What’s the best movie about golf? Caddyshack!

What’s the worst movie about golf? Caddyshack 2.

You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Finalists Tony Schumacher and Larry Dixon are two of the most decorated drivers in Top Fuel history. As tough as they are week-in and week-out, they overshadow their peers even more when they come to Indy. The two drivers have swept the decade in Indy wins with Schumacher getting the much larger portion with eight wins to Larry’s two.

[tees off] Four!
[his ball hits Judge Smails in the crotch]
I should have yelled, "Two!"
Spencer Massey used a holeshot to take down No. 1 qualifier and Top Fuel points leader Antron Brown in the first round, 3.88 to 3.87. That had to hurt.

Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?
Massey’s day ended in an ugly semifinal bout with Larry Dixon in which he was late off the line after almost double-stepping it, and he didn’t have a car to get down and take advantage of Dixon’s issues. In the other pair in the semi’s, Brandon Bernstein’s team gave one away when they were unable to capitalize on Brandon’s huge holeshot because they lost traction.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.
Ashley Force Hood has dealt with a lot of grief about her reaction times. She’s followed the advice of crew chiefs Dean Antonelli and Ron Douglas in not putting too much into it, and she had what was perhaps her best day on the starting line with four lights between .061 and .085.

You've got to win this hole.
I kinda thought winning wasn't important
Me winning isn't. You do.
Great grammar.
Robert Hight had to beat his boss John Force in the semifinals to qualify for the Countdown to 1. I’ll leave it at that.

I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal and, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.
Tony Pedregon has gotten under the skin of John Force. The current philosophical issues and past personal issues came to a head at the top end after the semifinal round in Funny Car with the two engaging in a heated verbal exchange. Pedregon historically fares well against his old boss and his drivers, so maybe the current quarrel will also have an affect of Tony getting further into the heads of the four usually unshakable JFR drivers.

I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
Mike Edwards was “the man” all weekend but ended the weekend on his own accord when he red-lighted against eventual winner Jeg Coughlin in the semifinals.

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion.
The most popular bet in the Top Alcohol Funny Car class was Frank Manzo against the field, but Bobby Martin stepped to the front of the pack with a No. 1 qualifying position on Friday and kept the ball rolling for the biggest win of his career. Martin chased his dream for several years with him and his wife making great sacrifices to run a low-buck operation on sponsor money alone before getting the chance of a lifetime behind the wheel of Frank and Dan Parker’s ride. The Parkers won Indy with Jeff Craig driving in 2003. Martin notched his first win in Norwalk last season and now belongs among the immortals by winning Indy.

It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!
Hector Arana wasn’t able to capitalize on the Ringers Gloves Pro Bike Battle due to a costly red-light in the final, but the popular rider of the Lucas Oil Products Pro Stock Motorcycle was prompt with a .021 in the final to get his first Indy win.

(Quick aside: When my dad raced, our crew chief, Tom Matthews, threw Caddyshack quotes around and would usually throw his hands up while exclaiming, “It’s in the hole!” when the car got pushed into the trailer at the end of the night.)

So we finish the 18th and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
Greg Stanfield didn’t get the Indy win despite an incredible effort for a driver/engine builder whose team is running on fumes and faces uncertainty for next year. The team was one-thousandth away from being a true Cinderella story against Jeg Coughlin, but they got the attention of most with their effort.

You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.
Don't sell yourself short, Judge; you're a tremendous slouch.
Past performance was not an indicator of success in Pro Stock this year. Warren and Kurt Johnson, with a respective six and two Indy wins, failed to qualify. Five-time winner Greg Anderson fell in the first round.

I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips
You'll get nothing, and like it!
Joe Hartley, Cruz Pedregon, Matt Hagan, Warren Johnson, and Steve Johnson will all be reduced to the spoiler role after Indy when after failing to get into the Countdown to 1.

Well, that’s it. It’s been a great Indy, and I appreciate all the feedback about the blogs. Now the real work of putting the results of the event together for print begins. I’m also headed to the AC/DC concert at the Honda Center directly from John Wayne Airport tomorrow night, so I’ll be a busy boy. Time to hit the “post” button and leave the press room, so you know what I’ll be saying…

IT’S IN THE HOLE!