Tomorrow (I know, you’ve heard this plenty, and I apologize for overusing the phrase) I will hop on an airplane and head out of state for the 10th weekend in a row. Despite the breaks in the NHRA schedule, my dance card has stayed plenty full, thanks to excursions to Delaware (family), Charlotte (NASCAR race appearance for Full Throttle), and Maryland (PINKS All Out) while Wilkerson works on his tan, Neff catches some big waves, Hight finishes his night class on Spanish, and Tasca fishes in the Caribbean. Okay, so none of this has been verified, but if Hight says, “Gracias,” in an interview and the other three appear darker than you remember, you heard it here first. My point is that I haven’t had any time off in the recent past, and it isn’t going to get any easier for the rest of the year.

Before talking about my PINKS adventure, let me catch up on the happenings at Englishtown. For team Valvoline/Mail Terminal Services, it unfortunately was way too much like a replay of Chicago: we really struggled in qualifying, finally got a hot rod going for first round, and still got our butts handed to us by a tough-as-nails (long, pretty nails, that is) Ashley Force Hood (not sure if she took any Spanish or tanning salon trips during her off time).

The weekend started off just fine for me; Thursday afternoon I headed up to Newark to do the MTS open house (we again had our show car on display). Leaving that at 4 p.m., and due back at 11 to do my employee visit, I found myself with plenty of time to kill, too much distance back to the hotel, and a bit late to visit any tourist spots. Time to head to the movies! So there I am, buttered popcorn and soda in hand ($12.75 worth of treats, just in case the $8 on the movie wasn’t enough support), enjoying the heck out of my one-man party. When the movie ended, I looked at my watch and still had four hours (hey, how come “four” and “hour” don’t rhyme?) to kill. So I snuck back into another theatre to watch Land of the Lost with Will Ferrell (no, Will and I didn’t watch the movie together, I meant that he was starring in it). I know, it really is cheating and just like stealing, but I took a shot of the outside of the theatre, and I’m giving the movie a mention here, so I hope that doesn’t taint my Karma. I also took a shot of the screen, just in case the cops need evidence to prosecute. Anyway, it turns out God must have noticed as it poured on me all the way back to the hotel, at midnight, once I was finished with the MTS visit. Oops!

I had a group of 14 cousins, family, and in-laws (probably a couple of outlaws also) spend the day Sunday at the track. After our disappointing first-round exit, I spent quite a bit of time in the stands with all of them. It’s interesting the reaction I get from fans. It’s almost as if some believe that we drivers are royalty or movie stars as you should hear some of the remarks I get when I do venture into the seats. One guy asked if I’d seen any movies lately (oh, that was the little devil on my shoulder!). The truth is that I still am as big a fan as anyone, and fortunately this job hasn’t tainted (can I use “taint” twice in the same blog?) my perspective and enjoyment of the sport. I also really love that so many of you are actually reading this blog and telling me about it at the track. At times it can be tough to find the time to write (my entries aren’t exactly short, if you haven’t noticed), but your comments are very motivating and appreciated.

I also spent some time with the Silvas, Tony and Lexy, whom I met in the parking lot of Applebee’s at the Bristol race. Lexy is a Lupus survivor and said she actually drew some inspiration from my cancer story, so we arranged to have her come speak during our DSR Sunday morning meet-and-greet in hospitality. Lexy rode with our tow vehicle on our lone Saturday qualifier (the other was rained out), and we blamed Tony for letting the rain ruin his chance to ride along (and our chance to improve). We relented and let him come with us first round and, though he clearly made our car run better than Lexy did, he wasn’t ENOUGH good luck that time. I do enjoy meeting nice people who have interesting stories, and getting to spend time with them was cool.

We bought a house. I suppose I should sound more excited, but I’m such a creature of habit and very low maintenance, that I just figured I’d grow old here in North Hills… always a “Valley Dude.” Jenna did such a great job of fixing this place up that I actually am proud to say that it’s my house, and after nearly 17 years, it’s kind of traumatic to move out. We’ll be living in Norco, 80 miles from here (and further from the beach!), but there do seem to be some advantages: Los Angeles County has done a great job taking my tax dollars without providing great schools and infrastructure, so now we’ll give Riverside County a chance. Hmmm… I’m trying to think of the other advantages. Oh yeah, we’ll be getting a place nearly three times the size of this house (wait, the taxes will be MORE than three times). Well, we’ll have a big yard (that’s DIRT right now as opposed to the one we just spent thousands on to have nice grass). Oh, I know: this place has the equivalent of a four-car garage, bigger than the three-car unit in my house (that also has 250 square feet of attic storage, whereas the new house has none). Well, I suppose it will be a fresh new way to spend money to fix, furnish, and flourish in our new abode.

Once I returned from Englishtown, I had to drive out to Norco (did I mention that it was 80 miles?) to meet the home inspector. He’s the guy that takes your $250 to tell you either that nothing is wrong with your home (why then did he need to come out?), or that you’d better have some more money ready to spend (as this is a bank-owned repo house, we get it “as-is”) besides the check he just got. Sometime between seeing the house the first time and going out for the inspection, someone decided to try to pry the cabinet off the wall in the garage and made off with several of the bathroom light fixtures and shower heads. I sure hope it was Cory Mac playing another of his practical jokes on me and that he’ll return everything soon!

I was going to tell you about my PINKS adventure. For those not familiar with the show, it airs on SPEED Channel and is one of their most popular shows. It used to be that racers competed for the title to their opponent’s car (hence the “Pinks” name), but apparently that can be construed as gambling, which is frowned upon by several states. Now it basically is a street-race atmosphere, with drivers leaving the line when host Rich Christensen drops his arms (as opposed to the Christmas Tree start). After all 400-500 contestants make their time runs, the staff goes into their “war room” to pick the 32 (16 in our case, due to several rain delays) cars that they think will make the best program. They can be 9-, 10-, 11-, or 12-second rides (though all cars selected usually are within no more than a tenth and a half of each other), so no one knows during time trials if they will get to compete for the $10,000 cash and $8,000 NAPA toolbox. It sure keeps it interesting and exciting for the contestants and fans (who still numbered around 9,000 despite the heavy rain at the Maryland track). I was blown away with how professional the event ran, and the track staff should take a bow (not to be confused with what Indians shoot arrows with) for that. The SPEED production crew, as well as the entire PINKS staff, treated me like royalty (kind of like the fans in the stands at Englishtown!).

Originally, I was only there to present the Valvoline Coveted Spot Award on camera. Basically, all these PINKS events fill their quota of cars within minutes of registration opening online, so hundreds of racers are turned away. This Valvoline award randomly picks someone whose entry wasn’t accepted, calls them and surprises them, and gives them free entry. Trust me, running at one of these events really is a big deal to the sportsman. To get a chance to run in front of packed stands, with television cameras all around (not to mention the ten grand), is beyond cool. The winner, Chris Clemens, actually blew his motor up on the dyno right after he got the call from Valvoline (he should have registered at Valvoline.com for the Engine Guarantee). Imagine that: You’re not in… bang, you’re in… BOOM, you’re out! I’ve had weeks like that, and it stinks. Anyway, Chris’ cousin, Jason, stepped up and loaned him his Firebird to participate with, which is way cool. However, while talking to Chris during our taping, something much bigger came to my attention: Jason donated one of his kidneys to Chris and saved his life a couple of years ago. If I didn’t know better, I’d think Chris might be a pain in the ass. Come on, first a kidney, now you want my car to race! Truthfully, though these two, and Chris’ wife, Glenda, acted just like regular racers. I was very moved by the story and think that Jason epitomizes what a real hero is all about. Just that experience made my trip out there more than fulfilling, but the PINKS and SPEED crew let me participate in nearly every facet of the program. Clay Millican (who is a regular on the show and really is one of the nicest people you will ever meet) took me around on his pit and staging lane driver interviews and let me interact with him and the racers. Kale, Ken, and Brian let me check out the software that groups all the runs together to let them pick cars in a really tight e.t. range for eliminations, and Rich, Rob, Willie B., and Bob had me help with the ladders. If that weren’t enough, I (along with Clay) got to coach the drivers before each run, and they even let me present winner Justin with 10 Grand… cash! I’m telling you, from the production assistants like Stephanie, to the track crew, to the SPEED and PINKS employees, I can’t thank them all enough for such a wonderful experience. If that weren’t enough, Bob Glidden was on hand for a special Mustang match race, Bunny Burkett had two TAFCs running (she’s out of the saddle temporarily with some health issues), Dick Rosberg (of Top Gas and “Fighting Irish” Funny Car fame) was there to help his son, who drives a jet dragster, and the fans were entertained with diesel races and a Quick-Eight show.

Shelley Sayers, who once worked with us at DSR and now represents Valvoline with TSMGI (The Sports Marketing Group), was my chaperone for the entire event and a real trouper. We got to the track at 9:20 a.m. and were told we could leave whenever we were done with the one interview. I really wanted to stay, and Shelley made sure I didn’t wander off. My cousins Mary Betty (who only lives 15 minutes from the track) and Diane spent the evening with us as well. The final wasn’t run until after midnight, and we didn’t leave until just before 1 a.m., but it all was worth it to me (except getting only three hours of sleep before having to head to the airport and almost missing my flight because Air Tran has their heads in their behinds, but that’s another story).

Once I returned home, it was obvious I wasn’t going to be treated like royalty any longer (Unless your definition of nobility is, “one who loads moving vans quickly”). Jenna and Cindy had expertly packed up much of the extraneous stuff (basically everything but the bed and toothbrushes) so we can “stage” (not to be confused with the racing term, this one is more like fooling buyers into thinking your house is bigger than it really is) the house for a quick sale. Because our house is so small, we had to take out some of the furniture (why my Wallys all have to suffocate in boxes right now is beyond me, but I’ll play along). Finding a friend on a weekday to help move is difficult for two reasons: all my healthy friends are employed, and my unemployed friends are hurt. Fortuitously for me, though certainly not for him, Eric is between jobs, healthy, and stupid enough to pick up his phone when I called for help. He and I got everything loaded in about an hour and a half before he had to leave (I think Oprah was coming on). I then drove everything over to Cindy’s so we could dump it in her garage. How nice to have such an understanding mother-in-law! So now we will have to re-load all of this stuff once we take possession of the new house and transport it over to Norco for another unloading. Too much work for a Prince! At least Jason got to enjoy the ramp on the moving truck, zooming down with his race car in between mom and dad carrying the heavy stuff.

Okay, so here we are at 2 a.m. on Thursday, we have a meeting with our realtor at noon, and then it’s off to the airport, so I should wrap this up soon. I have spent the better part of the last two days sanding, cleaning, pressure washing, wiping, scrubbing, painting, and generally sweating. Jenna probably has done twice what I have, and I hope that all of our efforts net us a good price for the house. It goes on the market today, should present for an open house this weekend, and someone will be sleeping in my room soon enough. Speaking of sleeping in my room, that sounds like a great idea!

Stay tuned.