Though I definitely live by the Golden Rule, I don’t think that I am a huge believer in Karma (not to be confused with that cute little Karmann Ghia by Volkswagen, or that really cute little Carmen Electra on TV), but I could be persuaded otherwise. Lately it seems as though my luck meter is near the “zero” reading, that my fortune cookie went broke, that my providence moved to Rhode Island, that my destiny went to sing with a pop band (okay, we’re done with the elaborate metaphors for now), and that my kismet has offended Allah (I couldn’t resist one more). Try as I might, I can think of nothing that I have done to bring this upon myself, but if I have to burn some candles, throw salt over my shoulder, carry a four-leaf clover and rabbit’s foot, help an old lady across the street, stop wearing white after Labor Day, or choke a chicken (perhaps we’ll leave that one alone) to turn my fortune positive, I’m all for it!

All I know is that right now my head and hand hurt, my wallet’s thinner, and we didn’t win anything in Memphis. Let’s tackle these one at a time: At the risk of being anachronistic (We’ll get back to the racing and trip later), my recent forehead trauma occurred somewhere in Tennessee (Well, actually it could have been in Virginia, as it’s all a bit hazy to me right now). We had pulled over in the RV to fill with diesel and water, and to empty the holding tanks. It was raining pretty heavy (the story of my life lately), so I slipped my rain jacket on and pulled the hood over my head. The bulkiness of this bonnet completely eliminated my peripheral vision, but I plodded along with opening the cargo doors, fastening hoses together, connecting to a water supply, etc. Somewhere in there the phone rang for an interview with Competition Plus, right as I was finishing winding the hose to put back in the holding area. As I quickly turned towards the bay, my head immediately alerted me to the fact that the forward cargo door doesn’t open at the same angle as the water bay (the one I had been working from). A quick check revealed little blood, I got the phone on the fourth ring, and I got all my cussing over with before the interview started. Bad as that may seem, I did the same damn thing not two days later while “topping off” the tanks in Richmond. So now I have a nice mark on each side of my forehead, looking very much like I ended up on the losing end of a fight. I may just pick up a skateboard helmet to wear from now on. While talking about my recent bout of clumsiness, I might as well come completely clean: After a top-end interview with Gary Gerould Saturday at Memphis, I ran over to get into the Suburban for the tow back to the pits. Normally by this time I have my fire boots off, but with the interview there wasn’t time. Also, I usually ride in the driver’s side rear seat, but we had some special folks that rode along for this pass, so I had to run around the back of the Suburban to get into the passenger seat. While this was going on Chris Afflerbach was inching the Suburban forward, taking the slack out of the tow rope. I think you know where this is going: I did a pratfall, smashing the Full Throttle can in my right hand, and I also did a nice number on my left hand, taking a small chunk out of the meaty part even though I still had my inner gloves on. Score: Motorhome, two; Ground, one; Jack, zero.

Though I doubt that I am being followed by bad luck, losing in round one to Jeff Arend -- after qualifying second -- was a major bummer for our team, but I thought it was outstanding the way the Kalitta car won the event and ran so well. Except for them kicking our butts, I am totally happy for that entire group of people and they deserve huge congratulations.

Last on my “Black Cloud Tour ‘09” list would be my trip today up to downtown Richmond for a TV news interview to promote the race. Allowing plenty of time for the 36 mile trip, I set off in the PT Cruiser up I-85, transitioned to I-95, and was making great time. It was then that I saw the fire up ahead, and moments later watched the multitude of emergency vehicles approaching in the rear view mirror. I never did see if it was a vehicle that was the cause, as there was a big-rig on my right side. I eased over and drove on the left shoulder, following the line of cars, until clear of the scene. About that time I could hear a sound echoing off the center wall, so I rolled the window down to hear an all-too-familiar sound. Something was stuck in the tire, so as soon as I was able to I pulled to the right shoulder to inspect. A nice chunk of metal had maneuvered itself into the tire, and I was already pushing it for time with the traffic delays. Seven minutes later I was back on the road, thanks to some expert jack-handling and efficient use of the lug wrench. I actually made it right on time for my interview…bumps on my forehead and all. Afterwards, a visit to the local Goodyear store, $242, and I was good as new. The RV and PT now have ten new tires between them.

Lest you think all I want to do is complain, there plenty of other news to share with you. First, however, I’d like to get the complaining completely out of the way; it seems as though I have offended at least one person with my last blog. My comments regarding the NHRA mid-season change to the qualifying points system were illustrated with a scenario using Jeggy and Mike Edwards. One gentleman e-mailed with the heading, “X-fan”, to tell me to get my facts straight before badmouthing Mike. My intent never was to make light of Mike Edwards’ season, which has been unbelievable. I also have the highest regard for his driving, which won him the national title back in 1981 in Modified (that was merged into Comp) Eliminator. I needed to clarify my stance that this new structure will put a disproportionate emphasis on qualifying, enabling a team to potentially pick up several rounds worth of elimination points on Fridays and Saturdays. I’d hate to think that I cost myself a fan by stating my opinion on something I feel very strongly about, but I will accept the outcome and stand by my values.

All right, the gripe session is officially over, so let’s pick up from the last blog. Texas treated me better than it ever had, and getting back to another final round was great for our team. I’m not sure why it seemed like such a one-lane racetrack on Sunday, especially with how good the cars ran in each lane in the heat Saturday. Regardless, you definitely wanted to be in the left lane on race day if you had nitro in the tank. We took what we thought was a safe-but-quick tune-up to the starting line against Hight and Prock, but they didn’t stumble in the better lane.

We hit the road Monday morning, as again we had an ambitious schedule and a limited timeframe. We needed to be in Memphis for a Valvoline promotion at the annual AutoZone show on Wednesday, so that gave us less than two days to do our thing. The “normal” drive from Dallas to Memphis isn’t very far, but we had a detour in mind. We headed down to Austin to see the state capitol there, and it was a dandy. Everything in Texas is bigger than life, and their State House was no exception. We also spent some time in the museum located on the same grounds, and I enjoyed reading the history of a very fascinating republic…I mean “state”.

Tuesday it was Baton Rouge day. We crossed TWO capitols from our list (they have converted their former building into a visitor center/museum), and we went aboard a World War II destroyer. Man, are we getting good at this tourist thing! Taking a one-hour walking tour on a ship is one thing, but imagining what it was like for several hundred sailors to function at sea for weeks at a time is entirely different. Now imagine being 17-21 years old in the middle of the Pacific, knowing that Japanese planes, subs, and ships are trying to kill you, and your country is involved in a war for its survival. I can’t place myself there, but hundreds of thousands of people have, and thank God that they did. The USS Kidd was privately restored, and I’m glad we took the time to see a very important part of our history.

We arrived in the beautiful “Yellowstone Park” campground in Memphis that night, and the next morning the PT and I headed the 15 miles over to the convention center for my appearance for Valvoline. I signed autographs with Ron Krisher, and NASCAR’s Carl Edwards joined us later. Also at the show were Cory Mac, Tony Pedregon, and Tony Schumacher. I enjoyed meeting Carl, as our paths never cross due to conflicting schedules. Once back at the campsite, I paid 10 dollars for the privilege of washing the RV and PT. I don’t mean that someone came and cleaned them for the money, that’s just what they charge to use extra water! Apparently their water is very valuable, but the vehicles needed a bath.

The Memphis race wasn’t so kind to us, so I will just skip it, as I’ve exceeded my complaint allotment for this blog. We didn’t do much exciting stuff -unless you consider driving in more thunderstorms exciting- between Memphis and Richmond, so here I sit after dinner in the RV in lovely Virginia, hoping this will be our “get well” weekend, where we can get the trophy and close the gap in the points chase …I mean Countdown.

Before I go, I would like to talk some about some memories from Memphis that will last forever. My very special friend, Dakota Ragsdale, was on hand with his parents, Mike and Carrie. Dakota is seven, has a pacemaker, and suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, thanks to his biological “mother”. Mike and Carrie adopted him and his sister Maddy, who has similar issues. They also adopted Tyler, whose biological “father” shook him so hard he is permanently brain-damaged. Anyway, our LuAnn Bishop, Queen of DSR Hospitality, told me a few weeks ago that the Ragsdale’s were having some tough times, though neither of them ever would ask for any handouts. In fact, they also do charity work in their spare time. LuAnn arranged an impromptu auction in the DSR pits, and thanks to help from dozens of people, many racers, and supportive fans, we raised $5000! What a great feeling to see the look on Dakota’s parents faces! My little buddy thinks the world is a perfect place, and I hope nothing ever changes his opinion. It was he and his father that we took in the Suburban when I decided to do a push-up on the tow rope, but it was all worthwhile. Matt Hagan donated his helmet, which alone raised $1000, and I wish I had a complete list of names of those who made for such a special day, as they all deserve a big pat on the back.

So, despite starting on a pessimistic note with this entry, I think we ended up with a very upbeat blog, which hopefully will translate into a very upbeat weekend for the Valvoline/MTS team.

Stay tuned…keep your fingers crossed…and don’t walk under any ladders!