My father moved out to California in late 1962, seeking a career in the high performance industry. His security clearance, gained while working at a rocket-fuel plant, served him well; he found out he could make more money building airplanes at Lockheed rather than hot rods. Anyway, he left behind all of his family and friends in Cumberland, Md., and headed west. Everyone else stayed, at least it seems that way. I have a wonderful bunch of relatives and thoroughly enjoy each time I get to visit with them. Now more and more of them are coming out for a race or two, and getting into the winner’s circle in Maple Grove with friends and relatives on hand was very cool.

After Memphis we were bound for Cumberland, and we managed to squeeze some sightseeing in. We actually had the ability to squeeze in a Capitae visit (that’s the plural of Capitol, at least in my dictionary). Thanks to some geographic luck and a bit of hustle on our part, we can now cross Kentucky AND West Virginia off of our list.

The Frankfort offering is very Capitol-esque (another derivative in my dictionary). Splendid in all senses of the word, I was impressed with all aspects: location, interior, and exterior. On the Beckman Capitol-o-meter (Reinhart and I teamed up on this term) it ranks way up there. The “reception room” (I didn’t make that one up, so no credit to me) was very elegant. At one time it adjoined the governor’s office, which has since been relocated.

Being on the road so much you see some rather odd things at times. Lately I try to keep a camera nearby to record these moments. Jenna gets a bit leery when I attempt to shoot pictures while steering with my knee. I promised to keep one hand on the wheel (at least while she is awake), so the camera thing is now a one-handed deal.

Anyway, this truck loaded with these enormous tires was getting ready to pass us, so ready I got with the camera and snapped this doozy (see last blog for that Becktionary definition) while trying to stay as far out of his way as possible. I think those tires might be a good way to slow down the nitro cars so we can go back to the ¼ mile. I vote that Wilkerson needs to run them the rest of this year!

The next sign speaks for itself, but we missed the perfect opportunity. We only caught ½ the sign that read, “Nitro - ¼ mile” (I blame that on Jenna. Had I been allowed to steer with my knees and two-hand the camera, I would have caught it). After NHRA gets the funny car body templates figured out to clear those monster tires, they ought to petition the town to move the sign 320 feet closer to the off-ramp (get it?).

On to Charleston! Similar to the Boise Capitol, it was experiencing some “refurbishing.” Buuuuuutt … we got in, as apparently this wasn’t a major job. Once in we felt as though something was missing; like people, decorations, and stuff that would hang on the wall or sit in the hallway. Seems the only thing still in there was a statue of Senator Byrd. Senator Byrd is best known for his amazing knack (not to be confused with the band “the Knack” from the late ‘70s) at pointing out the obvious. Here is the famous sculpture entitled, “there it is,”,with Jason and I present simply for perspective. (Yes, I am being sarcastic). Anyway, the Capitol features perhaps the coolest topped dome we’ve seen, and it should be really neat after the construction is over.

On to Cumberland! My “second home” is always great to visit, and this year was no exception. Every trip seems to yield one or two more cousins, so Jason had plenty of folks to hang out with. We also took the little man to the local zoo. The donkey and the geese scared the cr@# out of him when they started getting rambunctious (not to be confused with Gene Snow’s Funny Car of the same name from the late ‘60s), so I had to hold him tightly until the noise subsided. The pigs, goats, ducks and monkey were much better behaved, so Jason actually felt good enough to pet one (the goat, not the monkey). Frankly, I’m not sure if the monkey was confused by Jason’s little backpack. After all, what would you think if you saw a monkey with a stuffed human strapped to his back?

For the second year in a row, I again got to be the guest of honor at the Cumberland car show, held right in the middle of downtown. I met and spoke with some awesome folks, including many current racers, as well as some of the members of “the Clockers,” a car club that my dad helped found a LONG time ago (I’m now an honorary member). One of the cooler things I got to do was go on the local radio station and do some promo work for the car show.

Pat the DJ and I spent an hour talking about music trivia after he went off the air (though I’m not sure that we talked about “the Knack”, and we definitely didn’t talk about Gene Snow’s funny cars). The car show participants each received a commemorative plaque that had a picture of yours truly and the Valvoline/Mail Terminal Services Funny Car. That was cool. To top it all off, organizer Al Haines had several awards for the participants, included the “Fast Jack’s choice.” I got to pick my favorite car, but I was stuck. Several potential choices had already made the judges list for various trophies, so that helped. In the end I was torn between two race cars (go figure!), so Alan thought it would be more diplomatic to double the award rather than having to flip a coin. My choices were a bitchin’ 4-speed, injected ’57 Vette and a big-inch ’65 Belvedere. Nice.

Next blog: more Maryland, including marshmallows, battlefields, and flat tires.

Stay tuned!